Public Service Announcement

I am once again enrolled in a German-language class, even though at this point in time I have no idea whether or not I will ever encounter another German-speaking individual again, let alone travel to Germany. There's just something about the language that fascinates me-could it be the tortured, agonizing, and baffling grammar? It can't just be that I've lived there for a month, can it? Am I truly that shallow? (don't answer that) Most likely, my rapture is predominately due to one simple gift learning German offers which I have not experienced for quite some time: a sense of accomplishment.

I really do miss the world of mathematics. Nowhere else can one experience that same sort of assurance that your answer is correct in a truly fundamental and absolute way. Psychology is fantastic and far, far more rewarding in the long run, but it is about the furthest thing from an absolute science--even when I was actually taking courses that related to my chosen career path in even the slightest degree I felt the absence of the gift of certainty as a dull, throbbing ache on the verge of consciousness. Today, after a year and a half of useless classes, emotional upheaval, spiritual deadening, and self-imposed-yet-hated isolation, the concreteness of the German language comes as a breath of fresh air in a dank and reeking sewer. I can finally see evidence of learning laid out before me like a red carpet before royalty, and to sweeten the deal even further my ego is stroked by the fact that I'm skipping a full semester of intermediate German, jumping right into the thick of things, and thriving. I like to think I'm immune to flattery, but the confidence Frau Thompson displays in my cognitive abilities-and the sense of pride I gain from that expression of confidence-begs the lie of that minor conceit.

In honor of my newfound passion, and in an attempt to both practice and show off my developing abilities, future posts shall be replete with German words. The inclusion will be entirely at random; if I know the German equivalent of my intended English word I'll toss it into the mix with absolutely no regard for grammar or even verb tense consistency. I'm sure if I had any readers it would drive them insane, but seeing as how nobody knows of my little hideaway blog (yet), I can act with complete impunity. Not that I wouldn't be doing this anyway; as I said in the very beginning, this blog is for me and I'll do whatever I damn well please.

On a more interpersonal note, I feel that I am both finally able and duty-bound to send forth an emissary to cross that great no-man's land of emotional warfare that separates me from Abee. It is entirely my fault that things ever became as bad as they did (both during the relationship and after it's inevitable agonizing end), and as such it is my responsibility to initiate whatever mending can still take place. Man was I a spaz during that eternal breakup; I can't even take a stab at guessing what her internal state regarding our affairs may be. Nonetheless, as permanent as I may have intended my final communique to be, I know now that my work here is not yet complete. Look for further updates in the days (or weeks, as I'm not exactly the most efficient man in Dodge and this shall be some extraordinarily delicate work) to come.

Ciao!