This is for me

I have never been one for wanton sharing of my life.  The original incarnation of the blog passed me by, garnering very little interest, and I have avoided Twitter like the plague. Myspace and Bookface proclaim to the world that I remain trapped in the year 2006, doomed to relive the year once and again through some sort of strange loop. I am a consumer of other peoples' creativity, not a producer of my own. I read blogs, but never comment. I admire art, but never paint. I tear through novels like a ravenous beast, yet never jot down a meager sentence of my own. "Why, then, are you beginning a blog on this rainy first night of December?" the concerned reader may ask. Well I'll answer:

This is for me.

In many ways my life has gone down the shitter lately, and I myself am directly culpable for most everything that happened. I can admit that now. To myself. And to nonexistent readers of an anonymous blog. It was my own laziness that cast my future into doubt, my bitterness that spoiled some of the greatest moments of my life, and my inattention that may have broken one of the greatest hearts I have ever known. If I continue down this path of isolationism and sloth my future looks bleak.

And thus, on this night I make a change. I have no formal plan for this blog yet, but I have a plan to have a plan. Deliberation is the new name of my game; living the loosey-goosey life is no longer a viable option for myself, so I must turn to the world of schedules and deadlines--a world I have greatly disparaged over these recent years of my life. Go figure.